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Pan-Fried Pork Chops Bring To Mind Lisa Simpson

There's a scene in Season 7, Episode 5 of the eternal animated sitcom "The Simpsons" in which perpetual 8-year-old Lisa Simpson announces to her family that she will no longer eat meat of any kind.

Her father, the oafish and omnivorous Homer Simpson, is skeptical.

"Lisa, honey … are you saying you're never going to eat an animal again?" he asks, clearly as incredulous as he is deathly jaundiced.

"No," she says.

Still doubtful, Homer questions his daughter directly about the types of food she'd no longer ingest.

Bacon? No.

Ham? No.

Pork chops?

"Dad," Lisa exclaims, "those all come from the same animal."

Homer laughs and, in his most sarcastic tone, fingers wiggling through the air as if casting spells, he responds, "Yeah, right, Lisa. A wonderful, magical animal."

This classic bit of "Simpsons" irreverence was at the forefront of my mind as I tried to convince my daughter, Arlie, to try a bite of pan-fried pork chop.

Through some twist of culinary fate, no doubt bolstered by a bit of my customary dumb luck, I'd managed to not only successfully cook the chops, but also prepare them in a way that was … dare I say … actually fairly delicious. Wonders occasionally never cease.

Like any good father, I attempt now and again to cajole my daughter into taking breaks from her usual diet of frozen pizza, SpaghettiOs and whatever it is she's dipping in ranch dressing this week. To that end, I cut a bite from my personal chop and shoved it into Arlie's face.

"Try it," I demanded.

She squeezed her face like a lemon.

"I don't like pork chops," she said.

Now, I've been present for every meal my daughter's eaten across her eight years on this planet, so I know good and well she's never so much as breathed in the scent of a pork chop, let alone eaten one.

I told her this. She drained the last drops of juice from her face.

"Fine," she said. "I don't like to eat pigs."

Across our living room, my partner in parenting, Stigz, chimed in.

"You like bacon," she said.

Now Arlie seemed confused.

"Bacon's not a pig," she said. Her tone spoke of doubt. There was a question mark at the end of that statement.

In a chorus of two, Stigz and I sang, "Yes it is."

Defeated, my daughter snatched the fork from my outstretched hand. She shoved the chunk of pig skewered upon the tongs into her mouth, chewed and swallowed. Her hand wobbled back and forth in the air as if struggling to balance on a wire.

"It's so-so," she said. "But bacon's better."

No argument there. Here's the recipe, anyway.

Pan-Fried Pork Chops

7 to 8 pork chops (the recipe calls for thin bone-in chops, but I used the de-boned variety, and they came out just fine)

1 cup all-purpose flour

1 teaspoon seasoned salt

1 teaspoon black pepper

Cayenne pepper, to taste

1/2 cup canola oil

1 tablespoon butter

Extra salt and pepper, to taste

Salt and pepper both sides of the chops. In a change of pace from how I usually behave, I get generous during this process.

Combine all dry ingredients. Yes, there are only two. Combine them "all."

Dredge each side of the pork chops in the flour mixture, then set aside on a plate.

Heat canola oil over medium to medium-high heat. Add butter. When the butter is melted and the butter/oil mixture is hot, cook 3 pork chops at a time, 2 to 3 minutes on the first side; 1 to 2 minutes on the other side. Pork should be cooked until reaching an internal temp of 145 degrees. Anything less than that, and you'll die. Well, maybe not, but you could get sick. Just cook the things.

Remove cooked chops to a plate and repeat with remaining pork chops.

Eat it.

(Adapted from a recipe found at https://www.Thepioneerwoman.Com)

Deep-fried Pork Chops In Breadcrumbs

Deep-fry the chops, two at a time, for about 3–4 minutes on each side, depending on thickness, until deep golden-brown. Do not try to cook all of the chops at once or they won't brown. Check that the internal temperature of the chop is about 71C using a meat thermometer. Drain the chops on a triple layer of kitchen paper and keep warm in a low oven while you cook the rest.

Pork Chops

Don't be fooled: not all pork chops are alike. While one may be tender and only need a quick sear, others can be tough and require a good long braise. Why? Even though pork chops are all cut from the loin, there are actually four distinct cuts. Working your way from front to back, you can find the shoulder chops, rib chops, loin chops and sirloin chops. Shoulder and sirloin chops are both superflavorful but have a lot of bone and connective tissue throughout the meat, so it's best to braise them. Rib and loin chops are lean, so you should cook them both quickly. Food & Wine has plenty of recipes, no matter which cut ends up in your shopping cart.

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